B is for brain damage?

Q: How long did it take you to fully recover from the neurological damage? What keeps you motivated?

A: My hands shook so bad, it took me 6 months after my last meth bump before I could sign my name again. It took 2 full years of clean and sober time before my thinking cleared up enough for me to have a regular conversation with a normie. I know people with permanent brain damage because they used “too much” meth–whatever “too much” is. Although they completely stopped using meth years ago, they still can’t think right. And they know they can’t think right. And they know why they can’t think right. They will never really recover from addiction because their permanent brain damage keeps them from the sort of self-reflection that recovering from addiction requires. As a result, they will always be miserable. That’s sad.

You have to find your own motivation. I have learned that motivation is a kind of story that you tell yourself over and over to keep you from relapsing. Mine is part never wanting to go back to living under a bridge again and part enjoying helping other addicts like me get clean and sober, stay clean and sober and understanding why getting all happy n shit really is worth the effort. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!

Addiction recovery is a life-long effort that gets easier and easier as you get more and more in the habit of spending a little time recovering every single day. I spend at least 15 minutes every day doing step-work and at least 1 hour every week meeting with my addiction recovery sponsor. I never go to meetings. I don’t read the A.A./NA recovery bibles any more. But, I really get into helping other addicts–that’s Step 12 of the traditional 12 Steps–and making sure that I have a manageable life–that’s Step 1 of the traditional 12 Steps. Because the 12 Steps have too much Christianity, spirituality and God in them for my personal taste, I pretty much ignore the “God” and “Higher Power” steps and try to follow my own 6 Secular Suggestions instead. Being altruistic, more than anything else, keeps me clean and sober. I can’t remember the last time I had a bad day.

Your mileage will, of course, vary. I suggest that you find whatever addiction recovery program actually works for you to keep you from relapsing. Then, stick with that program.

AND THAT’S THE TRUTH

I HAD A
PELICAN STEAK
FOR LUNCH
GOOD FOOD
ENORMOUS BILL


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